


Swallow My Pride

by nickelkeep



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant, Closeted Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, In his own unique way, M/M, Non-Binary Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24999265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickelkeep/pseuds/nickelkeep
Summary: Leave it to Sam to start up the most awkward of conversations. Especially when it comes to forcing Dean out of the proverbial closet.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 212





	Swallow My Pride

**Author's Note:**

  * For [An_Angel_A_Muse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Angel_A_Muse/gifts).



> Written for our little SPN Family Server's Pride Exchange, for our Castiel. <3
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://nickelkeep.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nickelwrites).

“So Cas,” Sam shifted in his seat to turn and look at the angel - ex-angel? - in the backseat. “I remember once upon a time there was this whole thing about you not having a gender because you were a radio wave or something?”

“Multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent.” Dean piped up from the driver’s seat. He peeked up into the rearview mirror and saw Cas with a soft smile looking back at him. Dean felt the blush heat his cheeks and focused again on the road in front of him.

“Dean is correct. My true form was as large as the Chrysler Building.” Cas’ soft rumble did nothing to ease the redness that was overtaking Dean’s ears. “An angel has no actual gender, but we tend to take on the attributes of the gender of the vessel we borrow.”

From the corner of his eye, Dean watched as his brother nodded. “That makes sense. But now that you’re human, Cas, are you male or?” Sam questioned.

“I still don’t see myself as Male or Female. I’m just Cas.”

“But what if someone were interested in you?” Dean didn’t even have to look away from the road to know his brother was staring at him as he asked the question to Cas. “How would you want them to address you?”

Dean snuck another look into the rearview mirror. Cas was staring at Sam, his eyebrow raised in confusion. “It would depend on the person, I believe. I would honestly be fine with any pronouns. Still, if the person interested in me was most comfortable with he and him because I present as a male, then I would be okay with that.” Cas tilted his head, and Dean looked back at the road just in case Cas was going to look back at the mirror. “Can I ask a question, Sam?”

“Of course, Cas.”

“Why is gender presentation so important? God - Chuck - made man in his image, and technically he is genderless.” Dean snorted then coughed to cover up his laugh. “I’m serious, Dean. I understand that there is the purpose of mating, but attraction is based on many things. Including a person’s soul, the spirit inside them.” Dean choked on his own spit, remembering that Cas had once said he had the most beautiful soul he’d ever seen.

“You alright there, Dean?” Sam waited for Dean to nod, then addressed Cas. “I personally don’t care. But people have used your father’s words to turn people against each other, especially when it comes to love and attraction. So someone who may be in love with you may be afraid to admit it because they’ve been taught to hate themself.”

“If you’re referring to Dean’s bisexuality–” Dean’s eyes shot up to look in the rearview. Cas was looking directly at him, and the blush that had started to fade flared up entirely. “–then he is learning to accept it. Slowly.”

It was Sam’s turn to choke and cough on much-too-sharply-inhaled air. Once he caught his breath, he turned to interrogation mode, albeit in a higher pitch. “Dean, you came clean to Cas?”

“Not exactly,” Dean began. “But I don’t think you want to know the full details.”

“Are you two a thing?!” Sam’s voice was slowly returning to normal. “For how long?”

“We are not ‘a thing’ Sam.” Dean could hear Cas’ air quotes and frowned. “I heard Dean in what I thought was distress.”

“Dude, seriously? Just because we’re living in the bunker doesn’t mean you suddenly need to be a loudmouth.” Sam shuddered, and Dean tried to remain focused on the road. “Well, I guess my next question is, how are you handling being out?”

Dean shook his head. “Cas already answered it. I’m coming to terms.”

“So, that’s it?” Sam asked quietly.

Dean nodded and stole another glance in the rearview mirror. Cas was staring out the window, frowning. 

The remainder of the drive back to the bunker was an awkward silence. Dean couldn’t bring himself to flip on any music. So many of his tapes had songs that made him think of Cas, and the fact that the former angel of the Lord didn’t want him, made listening to those songs so much more difficult.

Pulling into the bunker, Dean carefully parked Baby in her spot before slowly exiting the Impala. Cas and Sam were moving faster, and he didn’t want to be roped into more conversation. He just wanted to shower, throw on his favorite pair of pajama pants, and fall on to his memory foam. Dean grabbed his bag out of the trunk, closing it gently before heading to his room.

As he prepared for his shower, a knock on the door pulled him out of his spiraling train of thought. Making sure his robe was pulled tight, Dean walked to the door and cracked it open, finding Cas waiting for him. “Dean.”

“Cas.” Dean looked down and swallowed, desperate to not look at his best friend, the person who made him acknowledge he wasn’t as straight as he claimed… the love of his life. “I’m about to hop in the shower. Can it wait?”

“No.” Cas stood still, blocking the doorway until Dean gave up. Dean slumped and stepped back, leaving the door for Cas to finish opening. As he crossed to the bed, he heard the door shut. Dean turned around, preparing to sit down, when Cas crossed the room and pulled Dean into his arms, pressing their lips together in a comforting kiss.

Dean melted in Cas’ embrace and briefly wondered if he was dreaming. When Cas pulled away, Dean found himself chasing after Cas’ lips with his own. Cas rested their foreheads together and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean let out a content sigh before finding his words. “Cas? I’m not dreaming, am I?”

“No, you’re not dreaming. I knew that I had hurt you on the ride home, but I didn’t know how to make it up to you.” Cas sighed. “I’m sorry that I outed you to Sam. His line of questioning was… invasive, and I became rather frustrated.”

“Yeah, well, that’s Sammy. He didn’t mean anything by it, but he went about it the wrong way. It’s kind of a Winchester trait.”

“I’ve noticed.” Cas was slowly swaying side to side in the slightest of movements. “But, I appreciate his questioning all the same.”

“Why’s that?” Dean pulled back slightly.

Cas smiled. “Because I know you love me, the way that I love you, Dean. While I can’t hear your longing or your prayers any more, I know that the feelings are still there. And I want you to be comfortable with me. Male or Female or Non-Binary.”

“Cas, I love you. You could be in your true form, in a male vessel, a female vessel, or something in between. I’ll know you and love you. I promise.”

Dean pulled Cas back in, sealing his promise with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Are you into Destiel? Do you use Discord? Are you over the age of 18? Looking for a cool group of people to hang out with? Come join the writers, artists, and other amazing Destiel fans on the [Profound Bond Discord Server](https://discord.gg/profoundbond).


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